The Renovation Dilemma
by Trisha Uchiha
Summary: Written for cuteinu-girl. When Golden Dragon closes for renovations Sheldon's frantic to find a substitute and the events that unfold yield unexpected results. What's the cause of his craziness?
1. Chapter 1

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

**This is a gift for cuteinu-girl who PM'd me to write this story based on an idea she had. I hope she enjoys it.**

Penny walked into 4A as Sheldon conversed with someone over the telephone.

"Alright, fine." He ended, hanging up and putting the phone back in its cradle.

"What'cha doing?" She asked, looking up at him as she sat down in the middle cushion. Penny secretly wanted to sit in his spot but he looked upset and she didn't want to push his buttons this time.

"I'm attempting to find another restaurant as Golden Dragon is losing due to renovations well into the foreseeable future."

"Oh the horror!" Penny feigned as Sheldon sat down beside her.

"Of course, all of the other establishments are deemed unfit, even as a temporary replacement. Whatever are we to consume tomorrow evening?"

"Why don't you try something new for a change? Have another anything-can-happen day in the week."

Sheldon scoffed. "And people think I'm crazy."

"Fine, eat canned soup for all I care."

"That's hardly appropriate; soup is reserved for when one is sick and as I am not harboring some corn husking bacteria again I shall refrain until them." Sheldon retorted as Penny crossed her arms.

"Fine do what you want. I'm cooking tomorrow anyway."

"But you don't cook. At least not on Chinese night." He said, sitting in his spot.

She nodded, it was true. "I do sometimes. I have a craving for homemade food and I was thinking of making-"

"Spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up into the sauce?" He asked, extremely hopeful.

"Nope. I wanna try my hand at Teriyaki Chicken so I picked up the ingredients so that I'll be all set tomorrow."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I seriously hope it won't be a repeat of your feeble attempt of trying your hand at Baked Alaska."

"Hey! How was I supposed to know it was that difficult to set it on fire?" She defended as Sheldon turned to face her on the couch.

"You nearly burned down the apartment complex and endangered my safety."

"So I poured a little vodka on it to jump start the flames. Big deal." Penny countered.

"It was a big deal. I had to use my back up fire extinguisher, what would happen if a fire were to spontaneously happen right this second? We could die because of your incompetence."

Penny glared at him. "Fine, then I'll eat it myself."

She stood up and Sheldon mirrored her. "Hold on, I never said I wasn't interested in dining with you."

"Will you stop insulting my cooking skills?"

He paused. "I will."

"And your condensation?" She asked, staring up at him.

"...Alright but I have a condition."

"What is it?"

He motioned to his kitchen. "I would prefer if you cook in my apartment."

"But I have all the stuff in my fridge."

"Quite alright, I'll simply move all the necessary ingredients into my fridge right now." Sheldon replied, walking past her into the hall.

"Oh yay..."

* * *

><p>Leonard walked up the stairs as the aroma of Teriyaki Chicken wafted into his nostrils. He opened the door to see Penny cooking in their kitchen as Sheldon read his copy of Physics Quarterly.<p>

"Why is Penny cooking?" He asked Sheldon, who turned to look at him.

"There was no other option."

Leonard looked back at her. "I hope there's no fire involved this time."

"Hey don't be mean!" She whined.

"Sorry but those flames were really high. You had to get Sheldon to repaint your ceiling."

"That won't happen this time. So are the others coming too?" Penny asked as Leonard shook his head.

"Nope, we're going out for Vietnamese together as planned and Sheldon protested. Why didn't you want to come Penny?"

"It's a fancy restaurant and I want to save some money because my hours were cut back at the restaurant."

"I can pay for you if you want." He offered as Sheldon looked up from his magazine at him briefly.

"That's sweet but its fine. Besides who's going to keep Sheldon company?"

"I don't know his _Theremin_?"

Sheldon let out his breathy laugh. "Amusing Leonard but I believe you should be leaving if you want to get a table at this busy hour. Please show yourself out."

"Okay, have a good- whatever this is." He said, walking out the door as Penny turned the stove off.

"Alright, dinner is ready."

"Excellent, I hope its fit for human consumption." He replied, putting down his magazine as Penny put his plate down in front of him on the coffee table. She placed hers in front of her as Sheldon took a bite.

He chewed slowly, and let out a 'hmm' as Penny swallowed her food.

"Well?" She asked. "I think it's pretty good."

"I agree with you. Your cooking skills fall short at times but this is the exception."

"So you like it?"

"Isn't that what I just said?" Sheldon asked, taking another bite as Penny smiled. "This is delicious, you should make this often."

* * *

><p>After dinner she left to take a shower in her apartment when Sheldon offered to wash the dishes to let her go on her way. Penny walked back into 4A and blinked in confusion at the sight before her.<p>

Sheldon was sitting upside down on the couch, yes in his spot, watching Survivor on the television.

"What the?"

He turned to look at her. "Penny you're just in time. Come join me."

"Umm you hate Survivor."

"Correct but upside down it is a hoot and a half as my mother would say."

She walked over to him. "Sheldon, sit like you normally do. What is wrong with you?"

He obeyed and sat upright quickly, his eyes adjusting from the vertigo."Nothing Penny, why would you ask that?"

"You were hanging upside down like a bat and it's not like you."

He rubbed his eyes. "I see, I have alarmed you. By the way, did your air conditioner malfunction?"

"No, why?"

"It's awfully smoldering in here." He stated, pulling off his t-shirt and throwing it on the floor. "By all means undress as well if you're feeling the same way."

Penny stared at him puzzled; it was nice and cool in the apartment. If this were any other guy, he would be hitting on her. Was this the Sheldon way of flirting with her?

He then shimmied out of his pants, kicking them of his legs and she watched as his hand go to his underwear. Penny quickly grabbed his arm stopping him.

"I don't think so and whatever you ate is definitely messing with your thoughts. I think you should go to bed." She said as he pulled off his long sleeved shirt and threw it down on the floor too.

"Why? I'm not the least bit tired. I feel full of energy, I'm so charged up I could run to the Grand Canyon."

Penny looked at him in disbelief, did he drink coffee again?" Sheldon what did you drink before I came in?"

He pointed to the empty glass on the table. "Just that."

She picked it up and held it to her nose, sniffing it. There was no smell. "You just drank water?"

"Of course, what else can I drink?"

Penny sat down the glass and inched closer to him as she put her hand on his forehead.

"You don't seem to have a fever. What's going on with you?"

"Penny I obviously am in ideal condition, I believe there might be something wrong with you."

She sighed and stood up, pushing him towards his bedroom. "Alright, go sleep off whatever you had."

"But I don't want to."

"Now or I'll go Junior Rodeo on your ass."

"Fine, but I'm going to miss Snookie on television tonight." He whined as he closed the door behind him.

"Holy crap on a cracker."

**Thanks for reading and please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

**This is a gift for cuteinu-girl who PM'd me to write this story based on an idea she had. I hope she enjoys it.**

Leonard stirred his coffee when Sheldon came into the kitchen.

"Good Morning Leonard. I slept splendidly that I didn't even hear you come in last night."

He stared at his lanky roommate. "I bet you did."

"I sense your tone is full of suspicion. May I ask why?'

"Why don't you tell me?"

Sheldon stared at him. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Alright, care to tell me why I came home and found your clothes on the floor near the couch?"

"Leonard, that's absurd, why would I-" He stopped briefly. "But I did wake up completely naked except for my underwear. I have no recollection of the previous night except when Penny left to go home after our dinner."

"Really? Did you accidentally drink alcohol again?"

"I assure I haven't. The last time I did I had a colossal headache and I feel perfectly fine." Sheldon answered, taking out a bowl for his cereal.

"That is odd. Why don't you ask Penny?"

"Leonard, that's a brilliant idea."

* * *

><p>Penny slowly opened her eyes and squinted at the clock; 9:30 AM. So much for sleeping in on her day off. She rolled out of bed and put her robe on, walking out of her room, letting out a gasp.<p>

"God you scared me Sheldon!"

"Seeing as only Leonard and I have a spare key to your apartment, how can my visit startle you?" He asked before turning to look away from her. "Penny, I suggest you cover yourself up. The sunlight is causing your attire to be completely useless."

"Huh?" She asked confused.

"I can see through your clothes."

"Sorry." She said, quickly closing her robe. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to ask you about the events of last night. I have no recollection from the moment you returned to your apartment after dinner to this morning when I awoke nearly naked."

"Oh boy." Penny breathed.

"Your expression tells me it was something unpleasant. Don't tell me we engaged in coitus?"

Her eyes widened. "No, nothing like that. You just stripped in front of me but nothing else happened."

"Why would I do such a thing?"

"I don't know. You said you were feeling hot and took off your clothes. If I didn't stop you, you would have taken off your underwear too."

"Good Lord. I must run some tests; perhaps I'm harboring an alien parasite in my body." He panicked as he ran out of Penny's apartment.

"You know, I might actually agree with him on that."

* * *

><p>"You are nuts." Raj said looking at Sheldon taking his temperature again.<p>

"I need to monitor myself every hour to see if anything is out of the ordinary."

"Dude you're fine. Just concentrate on work."

"Really? How are you supposed to know that?" Sheldon asked, taking out a syringe from his bag and holding it up to Raj.

"What now?"

"I need you to take a sample of my blood."

Raj crossed his arms. "Why? You've taken mine before."

"That's different. I can't take my blood. The last time I tried I stabbed it too hard out of fright and I bruised myself. It took weeks before it disappeared and I have the scar to prove it."

"This is crazy. I won't be part of this." He said, walking out of the office.

* * *

><p>Leonard sat on the couch when Penny came in and looked around. "Where's Sheldon?"<p>

"In Amy's lab. He's getting tested for abnormalities."

She nodded. "He did mention tests this morning."

"Oh we're running the tests this time."

"Why?" Penny asked, sitting down beside him.

"Sheldon broke out into a song in the middle of the cafeteria and then started belly dancing."

"What?"

"I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it for myself. I think he finally snapped." Leonard admitted, picking up the remote.

The door opened as Sheldon stumbled in and grasped the couch with his hands to avoid falling into it.

"I'm leaving; I had enough crazy for one day." Leonard said, walking past him and darted down the stairs.

"Penny, how's my buddy?"

She stared at him carefully. "Are you drunk?'

"Of course not. I haven't drank anything since this morning."

Sheldon moved over to the couch and sat beside her, ignoring his spot. "Concentrate. Could one of the grad students slip something? You did insult them last week."

"I told you I didn't drink anything at all."

Penny reached over and patted him on the shoulder. "I can make you some tea, do you want some?"

He shook his head. "No need just watch your moronic shows."

She shot him a glare, causing him to smirk at her and she turned her attention back to the television. It didn't take long for him to drift off and his head rested on her shoulder.

Penny gently patted him on the head. "Poor Sheldon, who would do such a thing?"

She began to flick through the channels and caught a breaking news story. Penny left it on curiously as she saw an older man being taken away handcuffed and put into a police cruiser. She gasped and immediately looked over at Sheldon.

"Crap, I did this to you." She whispered and continued to watch.

**Thanks for reading and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

**This is a gift for cuteinu-girl who PM'd me to write this story based on an idea she had. I hope she enjoys it.**

Leonard came home to Sheldon sprawled out on the couch in a deep slumber as Penny was emptying a container of her teriyaki into the garbage.

"I wanted to try that! Why are you dumping it?"

She looked up at him. "I have to, if you guys eat this too who knows what will happen?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Two days ago I bought ingredients at the local market but no one had any mushrooms." Penny began as Leonard stared at her in confusion.

"Alright."

"So as I was driving home there was a man in his forties selling mushrooms on the side of the road. I bought a few because they were a steal and just now I saw him getting arrested for selling drugs."

"So, Sheldon was drugged?" He asked, looking back at him on the couch.

"Looks like it. You can't tell him about this. He'll ban me for life from the apartment."

"Okay, do you have any of them left?" Leonard asked, walking over to the kitchen.

"Yeah in my fridge."

"Then let's go. I need to see them."

Penny dashed into her apartment with him and opened the fridge, taking out the mushrooms.

"I don't know, they look like ordinary Shitake mushrooms." He observed, picking one up in his hand.

"Then what else could it be?"

Leonard shrugged. "Maybe it's not the mushrooms since you ate them too. I think Sheldon finally snapped."

* * *

><p>"What is happening to me?" Sheldon asked, perching his chin on his hand as he sat on the couch. "I have no recollection of the night before or my day at work yesterday."<p>

Leonard glanced over at him. "Maybe take a break. A real vacation this time."

"At a critical time in my research? I don't think so."

"Alright, I'm going to pick up the pizza since they refuse to deliver here. Did you really have to insult his speed walking up the steps?" He asked, taking out his keys from the bowl.

"Yes, MeeMew can walk up our steps faster than that teen. And no need, Penny insisted on making pizza tonight, it's probably in the oven as we speak."

Leonard paused at the door. "Really? Then I'll save a trip for gas too."

Moments later Penny emerged with a pizza in her hand, the aroma instantly engulfing the entire apartment.

"Acceptable, although just because it has a pleasant aroma it could be masking the horrifying taste."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Just try it."

Penny placed it on the coffee table as Leonard stared at the toppings. She added the shitake mushrooms.

She smirked at him as she took a slice and placed it on a small plate, watching Sheldon take a bite. He chewed slowly before swallowing.

"I withdraw my comment. You should find a new profession, perhaps a small pizzeria instead of waitressing."

Leonard's eyes shifted to Sheldon and back to the pizza as he took a cautious bite of his. "This is really good. I agree with Sheldon."

They both watched him carefully, wondering if he might have another reaction but nothing happened, even after two slices.

"Odd." Penny whispered. "I thought it was the mushrooms."

"Who knows? Hey do you still have some left over?" He asked, earning a nod from her.

"Yeah."

"Let's give Amy some so she could run some tests. She ran his blood but found nothing out of the ordinary."

Penny agreed as Sheldon walked back to the couch and looked up. "Y'all know in Texas the stars shine like our ceiling?"

Their eyes shot to him, surprised by his Texas twang and then in unison stared up at the ceiling, it was still white.

"Oh my God it is the mushrooms!" Penny exclaimed, placing her hands to her cheeks.

"What'dya say we dance? I haven't done that since the Hoedown with my sister when we were young and girl's night last year."

"Umm no." Leonard said but it was too late. Sheldon pulled Penny off the couch onto her feet and twirled her around.

She laughed, watching the confused look on Leonard's face. "He can dance too?"

* * *

><p>"What the frak?" Howard blurted out, watching Sheldon dance with Penny on Leonard's phone.<p>

"I know and he's not aware of any of his actions." Leonard grumbled, jealous that he was a great dancer.

Raj stared at the scene."What's causing all this craziness?"

"It's Penny's mushrooms."

Howard's eyes widened. "You mean the drug?"

"No actual mushrooms, specifically Shitake mushrooms. And each time he eats them it yields different results. The first time he started stripping because he claimed his body temperature increased, then the singing and belly dancing in the cafeteria when he ate her leftovers and now this."

"Should we tell him?" Leonard asked, taking a bite of his cookie.

"No, let's keep feeding them to Sheldon and maybe he can teach me to dance. It'll be awesome." Raj gushed, earning looks from them.

* * *

><p>Penny picked up the small bowl of mushrooms. There were five left after she gave one to Amy who curiously raised her eyebrows at the request. At the very least they might find something odd about them but why didn't it affect her or Leonard?<p>

She sighed and closed the fridge when the OCD knocking began. Smiling slightly Penny walked over to the door, her jaw dropping at the sight. Sheldon was dressed as a Italian nobleman from the Renaissance period; no fricking joke.

"What the hell?"

He bowed slightly."Ah Penny, care to join me for dinner?"

"Did you find any of my leftover pizza?"

Sheldon shook his head, confused why she had asked that. "None, but Raj kindly offered his share today at lunch so I jumped at the chance."

She clenched her teeth, when she was through with Raj he would start speaking to women without booze or pharmaceuticals. Penny watched as he grasped her hand and pulled her into her apartment toward her bedroom.

"A lady mustn't keep her suitor waiting."

He shifted through her closet to find a dress for her but frowned."No Renaissance pieces?"

"This is the 21st century, Sheldor." She mocked but he didn't catch it.

"Not tonight for I am Sheldon Cooper da Galveston and you are Penelope Price da Omaha."

That's it; she was burning the remaining mushrooms as soon as possible.

"This dress is appropriate. A scarlet red dress that elegantly would appeal to your figure and bosoms." Sheldon said, holding it up to her body.

"What?"

He then reached out to her top and she grasped his wrist.

"I can change myself you know."

"Perhaps but I've already seen you naked. It's not uncommon amongst betrothed."

Oh God she was going to skin Raj alive.

* * *

><p>She sat in the apartment as Sheldon placed the pasta in front of her, grinning as he sat down beside her.<p>

"Mmm it smells delicious Sheldon."

"Of course it does, you know very well that there is nothing that I can't achieve perfection in."

Penny took a bite; it wasn't fair that he was good at everything. Cooking, dancing, you just name it and he could do it.

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't we save Penny?" Leonard asked, watching them on Howard's laptop outside in the hall. They had installed a camera so it was easy to spy on Sheldon.<p>

"Nah she can handle him, besides what could happen?" Howard asked as Leonard watched them intently.

"You know that you won't remember a thing once the effects wear off?" They saw Penny ask as Sheldon took her hand in his causing their eyes to widen in surprise.

"Why would you say that m'lady? Even if I were to never see you again as long as I shall live I won't regret a thing nor forget it." Sheldon replied, leaning closer to her and capturing her lips.

"That's it, I've had enough." Leonard snapped, pulling out his keys and walked to Penny's door. Raj and Howard watched him and quickly looked back to the laptop screen. "Lucky bastard."

"I know right? One mishap and he's a Casanova. Leonard is probably furious." Raj replied as his phone buzzed.

He pulled it out of his pocket, and sputtered as he read the text.

"What's wrong?" Howard asked with concern.

"Amy has the results from the mushrooms. There is nothing suspicious about them!"

"Then why is Sheldon acting this way?"

"Hell if I know! We need to feed him the last four quickly to see what else might happen!" Raj cried out as they heard the toilet flush from Penny's apartment.

"Nooo!" Raj screamed. "Now I'll never learn to dance now!"

And from that moment on it was dubbed the Shitake Mushroom Incident, and they swore to never tell Sheldon or buy them ever again, even from a supermarket.

THE END

**Thanks for reading and please review!**


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